Good bye Steve!!

I just wanted to post an update since I haven’t in a while.   I realize some people are afraid to ask, but seriously you can always ask us how Steve is doing.  We don’t mind talking about it.  It’s our life now. The girls went to camp the last week of August, right before school started.  It was a camp that is only for children who’s parents have battled cancer/ have cancer.  It’s called Camp Kesem and it’s a free one week overnight camp. When we first heard of it, I immediately thought how great it would be for the girls to meet other children who have a life like theirs and to hear their stories.  But I figured they would NEVER go away for…

Steve had chemo last week and once again his side effects weren’t that bad since the reduction.  He’s even been able to maintain his weight, which is exactly what the doctor wants right now.  It’s been nice outside the last few days so that’s been helpful too.  On the cold days we had a week ago he had a very hard time.  Once his hands and nose get cold, they hurt.  He’s trying to bundle up the best he can, but if he bundles up too much he sweats.  Over time he’ll find a balance.  It’s something new to get used to. He sees the Oncologist next Tuesday and he will then make an appointment for another CT Scan.  I’m very hopeful that we will…

Steve is going this morning for his first CT Scan.  We are pretty hopeful that it will look good because of how good his CEA number has been.  But seeing it will be good to reassure us that the Chemo is working. He will also have is CEA number checked on Monday.  We will have the results of both of those tests on Tuesday when we meet with his Oncologist. Steve has been getting mouth sores the last 3 cycles and they are unbearable for him.  We’ve been trying all sorts of ways to make them better and possibly avoid them but after talking to the doctor yesterday, we are thinking of pulling back on one of the Chemotherapy drugs a little bit.  There is…

It’s a little over a month later and the girls and I have began moving forward with our life without Steve.  I won’t lie, it’s awful.  Some days are okay, but lately most are not.  I’m really struggling with this.  I thought I would be okay.  I thought I was prepared for this.  I thought I grieved the last 2+ years, and I thought that was hard.  This is worse.  I was no where near ready for losing him.  I was no where near ready for the pain of missing someone that has been in my life, every day for 18 years.  Especially losing them when you have no choice. I also thought we had more time.  I thought we had one more Thanksgiving… one…

My families world was turned upside down in June 2014.  I’ve decided to share it here on our family blog to possibly help someone going through the same thing.  I’ve searched high and low for months for support groups and finally found one online.  I have so many questions and concerns that really only someone who’s gone through this, can help with. Here is our story: On Friday May 30, 2014 my husband Steve came home complaining of chest pains.  He was thinking he had gas and then ate dinner.  After dinner it didn’t get any better so he stayed home while I took Holly to her softball game.  I made him promise me that if it got worse, he’d take an aspirin.  He assured…

I knew it had been a while since I updated this site, but I didn’t realize it had been 6 months!  The reason I haven’t updated in the past 6 months is there hasn’t really been a significant change….. which isn’t a bad thing when you are stage 4! This past week, Steve had his last follow up for the year so I thought it was a good time to share how he’s doing. His CEA number is holding at 11, which is low and good.  He had a bone scan earlier this month because he was having some back pain and his last scan still showed a spot on his vertebrae.  I won’t lie, this scared me.   I was more worried than Steve was. …