Steve would have been 46 today

I know most days it appears that I’m fine, but I am not. I am still very fragile, sad, lonely and missing Steve.   I wish sometimes I could hang a sign around my neck asking people to be sensitive to me, think about what they are going to say and consider keeping it to themselves. But I can’t. Unless you’ve grieved the loss of someone as close as a spouse, there is no way to know how it feels, and I don’t expect anyone to, nor do I want anyone I love to know how it feels, but it does still hurt and I think about him every single day. Yes, I need help from time to time. I’m doing this alone, I have…

I came across something called “The Mourner’s Bill of Rights” and there were 10 bullet points. One of them made me feel so better about how I’ve been feeling the past week or so – I have been SO UNMOTIVED lately. I haven’t cooked in two weeks, and have no desire to even go food shopping. I have new furniture coming for Allison this week which means everything has to come out of her room and I have the Book Fair at the girl’s school coming up in less than a week and I haven’t done anything for that either. I hate feeling this way. But at least this helps me to understand that it’s normal. It said “You have the right to be tolerant…